Archive for the ‘words for artists’ Category

7| artifiction (n.)

April 27, 2008

art objects, when created for utilitarian or ceremonial purposes, are commonly known as artifacts. there is an enormous tourist industry, sometimes referred to as “the 4th world”, in which reproducing cultural artifacts or modifying the design all-together to make it more marketable is encouraged. sometimes, to the untrained eye, these items are easily mistaken as authentic, meaning they’ve been used for ceremonial purposes. most consumer-produced objects such as these are often seen in import stores like world market, pier 1–even hobby lobby carries them. they are made specifically for tourists and have absolutely no cultural significance aside from defining the 20th and 21st-century tourist industry. because of this, i decided to rename them for what they are: miserable crap. throughout the world, artifictions are produced heavily in unindustrialized countries. in america, they come out of the southwest (santos/boultos woodcarving knock-offs), southeast (appalachian folk art knock-offs) and from artifiction makers of faux indigenous objects like moccasins, bow and arrows, arrowheads, etc.

contextual use:

  • “…wayne, the next time we go to ganna (ghana) and the kote devoray (cote d’ivoire/ivory coast), let’s pick up more of those funny brown statues at the holiday inn gift shop…”

2| crafternoon (n.)

April 25, 2008

this one came to me at hobby lobby. it was born out of frustration as well. frustration which stems from having to share one location with hundreds of non-artists, dabblers, crabs, crabby dabblers and red hat society members looking for red hat ephemera to jam up their yard, post on their doors, adhere to their windshields. having an art supply section that’s not only shitty but treated as an afterthought. treating paint and bristol board like unshaven, bra-less nobodies at a manicured sorority scrapbooking scrapoff. stupid carts filled with 4th-world tourist art and mylar and rubber stamp kits and scissors with feel-good tips. this word defines all hobby lobbiest activity occuring between the hours of 12 and 5 PM, generally sundays.

contextual use:

  • “louise, this crafternoon i need to spray paint these plastic pine cones gold…”
  • “tammy, would you tell louise to spray her cones outside? i’ve been suffering from mid-crafternoon headaches, thanks.”