sm| correctify (v.)

this one comes from sarah when she worked at kiehl’s. i was reminded not to forget it in this recent e-mail:

“oh, don’t forget correctify … that’s the one that J used to always say … frank thought maybe she was actually a genius—cuz it’s a pretty good word … too bad she didn’t realize she had made it up.”

this one’s tricky. derived from error and ignorance it brilliantly blends two synonyms into a superlative: tweek, fix, correctify. to be reserved for the most extreme fuck-ups: financial, legal, cosmetic surgery, teen parties when used to its full potential.

contextual use:

“…Bear Stearns just imploded and Warren Buffet correctified the fall by purchasing all remaining stock for $15 billion.”

“…Sarah, I don’t mean to correctify you, but the tangerine-banana candles don’t go with the pine-pond moss ones.”

3| tundlenard (n.)

my HTC mogul has a setting called transcriber. i don’t have to learn new shorthand like some older versions. this one allows me to write at normal speed in my own handwriting and is amazingly inaccurate when things get sloppy. HTC mogul gets credit for creating the word. i’ll take credit for contributing to the decline of the english language. tundlenard resulted from writing “turtleneck” and is synonymous with acrochordon.

contextual use:

• “…grandma, are those tundlenards on your face contagious?”
• “…who has scissors? this tundlenard is making me bitchy.”

alternate meaning: sometimes used as a derogatory term for mentally challenged sports participants (uncovered by kmha, hplm, r.)

• “…has anyone made reservations yet for the tundlenards’ plane trip to the 2008 beijing special olympics?”